God's Gracious Hand

It's taken me awhile to muster up the courage to write down the story of BooBoo's birth. I never want the story of his birth to be a terrifying recollection of almost losing my baby and almost losing my life. It's quite the opposite. When I look back over the events of that night, I am overwhelmingly reminded of God's goodness to us.

During my pregnancy I was diagnosed with placenta previa at 18 weeks. Placenta previa is when the placenta implants n the uterus in the wrong place. My placenta was implanted at the bottom of my uterus completely covering the cervix opening, a complete previa. 90% of the time the placenta moves into the right place as the uterus and baby grow. I fell into the 10% whose placenta stays implanted in the wrong place. At 32 weeks I was told that there wasn't a chance of this condition changing and BooBoo's delivery would require a c-section. I transferred from the Midwives at St. Luke's to Dr. Jacob Tal (Clay's Dad's best friend, who is an excellent OB) at Memorial Hermann Katy.

Dr. Tal strongly suggested I take things really easy, stop lifting things, and get off my feet as much as possible. I stopped cleaning our house and didn't take LittleMiss anywhere, since that would require lifting her. The waiting game began. I have so much respect and pity for women who have to be on bed rest, especially those with other children!

With the condition it is important and life-saving to avoid going into labor. Once the body starts going into labor, you begin to bleed and the placenta can start to detach from the walls of the uterus. We knew we were going to be delivering early. I was told that most doctors deliver between 36 and 38 weeks with patients with placenta previa. I'm not a big fan of medical procedures, or anything that involves blood, so the idea of having a c-section freaked me out! I'll admit I'm a high-maintenance patient :) I prayed to be unconscious during my surgery or incoherent. Seriously, I'm that ridiculous! I planned to be best friends with my anesthesiologist, so I could get enough drugs to relax through surgery. That was my bright plan.

I had a knot in my stomach the day before I went in for my 35 1/2 week appointment. I just had a gut feeling that something big was about to happen. I can't explain it. I had told Clay that I had a feeling I was going to deliver earlier than we expected. I'm a firm believer in promptings by the Holy Spirit and I know this was a nudge. God had changed my heart in so many ways already. My heart swayed from anxiety to trust in God throughout the pregnancy. I would feel overwhelming anxiety surrounding BooBoo's birth and life, and then God would replace my fears with complete peace. "Save your fear for God who holds your entire life--body and soul--in His hands." Matt. 10:28 (MSG) I just kept praying. I felt strongly that I should be in the hospital and was adamant with Clay that this would be best.

We went in for my 351/2 ultrasound and doctor's visit. During the ultrasound the tech brought Dr. Tal in to show him where the umbilical cord was lying. It was below the baby when it's suppose to be above the baby; known as a transverse previa. I knew this was alarming with a typical pregnancy, but I wasn't quite sure all the medical reasons why it was dangerous for my pregnancy since I wouldn't be delivering naturally. Dr. Tal just told me it would mean that I would bleed from the umbilical cord if I started bleeding. I immediately told him we were covered 100% by insurance, so not to hesitate hospitalizing me if he felt it was best! He left for a few minutes to decide what to do. I started imagining what would I do if I started bleeding and was home alone with LittleMiss. Would I make it in time if I drive? Should I wait for an ambulance to take me? Who will take LittleMiss when I get to the hospital? Well, I got my wish, he admitted me to bed rest in the hospital. We headed home to pack up a few more things and then all three of us (Clay, LittleMiss, and I) headed to the hospital. We even stopped at Target, so I could buy some cozy socks and a robe! I rode one of those electronic wheelchairs around the store for the last time...I love those things.

We arrived at the hospital around 5pm and went up to Labor and Delivery to be admitted. We signed all the admission/delivery paperwork, got into our room, my IV was placed, and I was hooked up to the machine that monitors contractions and the baby's heartbeat. I got to know two of the nurses, Zoe and Lesley. I joked with them about how much I hated the hospital, and how I just wanted to have my baby out of me and safe in my arms. I was having contractions that were showing up on the monitors. I wasn't feeling much more than what I thought were Braxton-hicks contractions, but the nurse told me they were 3 minutes apart. I can remember multiple times in my pregnancy with LittleMiss having Braxton-hicks contractions that came every few minutes for sometimes an hour, but never progressed. I just ignored them through BooBoo's pregnancy. They gave me medicine to stop the contractions and fluids in my IV to hydrate me. Dr. Tal came to check in, and when he and the nurses finally left my room I went in to use the restroom. I was sitting there reading the menu with Clay and joking about eating pancakes in the morning and just trying to make the best of my hospital stay. LittleMiss was sitting in a chair watching Veggie Tales on my laptop. Suddenly I felt a gush of fluid and remember thinking it felt like my water had broken. I looked down to see lots of blood. I was hemorrhaging quickly. That's when our evening turned into a "Grey's Anatomy" episode. The nurses were calling out "Call pediatrics, call nursery, call anesthesia, call..." They rushed into my room and wheeled the bed over to me and threw me on it. My room was 30 feet from an OR, praise the Lord! They wheeled me over to the OR as Clay chased after us down the hallway holding LittleMiss. At the time it didn't occur to me that I was half naked being wheeled down the hallway, it's one of those things that didn't matter at the time. As I was wheeled, I was calling out to him people to call to pick up LittleMiss, but realizing at the same time that there wasn't time. LittleMiss looked at me as I was wheeled into the OR and said, "Mommy ok???" with much concern. I told her without even thinking, "Mommy's doing great!" One of those many times as a parent you pretend that everything's going to be great, when you have no idea what the outcome is going to be.

Clay handed LittleMiss to a nurse, and headed into the OR. They told me to climb up onto the table. I did and I held my belly for the last time and started praying for God to protect my baby. I just laid there as they plugged another IV in me, catheterized me, scrubbed my belly, put me on oxygen, etc. I laid there alternating looks at Clay, who was sitting up by my head, and then back to the chaos around me. I felt peace amidst the chaos when I looked at Clay. He prayed out loud. When I looked up I kept asking (more like insisting), "When are you putting me under!?!" I just wanted to be unconscious. I can remember them shouting out, "What blood type is she???" and just rushing around to prep me and the room as quickly as possible. I told them they could cut my shirt off of me if they needed to, but they didn't because I woke up wearing it. My anesthesiologist was the only person who actually talked to me the whole time. I told him he was going to be my best friend and he was. He reassured me that I would be under as soon as the doctor was ready. I knew the whole time they couldn't put me under until right before they were going to cut, because the anesthesia would go to the baby. I quickly told Clay to go with BooBoo when he came out, but to be back to me before I woke up. Dr. Tal walked into the OR and Clay was kicked out. Dr. Tal told me he was going to cut me up and down (vertically), and I told him I wasn't vain, to just get my baby out! Lesley, one of my nurses from before, help my hand for the 30 seconds between when Dr. Tal walked in and when I was under. It was so comforting. It's amazing how quickly I bonded to the medical staff, especially nurses, who cared for me in the hospital. What a genuinely great group of individuals.

While I was in surgery, Clay was outside the room watching from a small window in the door. This isn't typical protocol, but no one was paying attention to what he was doing. He called our parents and Sunday school class to pray. He went to check on LittleMiss and she was doing well just hanging out with one of the nurses. Then he heard BooBoo cry! What an amazing sound! At 6:22pm BooBoo was born! Healthy and alive, what a miracle! Clay watched as they pulled countless blood-soaked cloths from my abdomen. My heart sinks just thinking about how alone he must have felt in the hallway that day.

Clay followed BooBoo to the NICU and took some video and pictures on my phone:

He is a man of his word and made it back to meet me in recovery. I woke up in excruciating pain. This was to be expected, since I didn't have an epidural or spinal and had no pain meds. I just remember calling out in pain and being delirious. The pain was awful, but I have to say, nothing trumps labor pain. Those were worse. This is when my anesthesiologist became my BFF, he just took a syringe of Morphine and injected it directly into my IV. What a swell guy! They then hooked me up to an IV push of Morphine. After 5 more minutes of still being in pain they gave me a dose of Tylenol through the IV as well. They told me that they had a lot of success with it. I waited...nothing. That is when they gave me Dilaudid. Once my pain was under control they wheeled me on my bed into the NICU to see BooBoo for the first time. Looking back I was pretty doped up, but was overjoyed to see him doing well.

The divine timing of everything surrounding BooBoo's delivery is nothing more than God's orchestration. Just over an hour after arriving at the hospital, BooBoo was delivered. If we had been there an hour later, we both may not be alive. From the moment I started bleeding to the beginning of the surgery was no more than 10 minutes. When I was admitted, if Dr. Tal hadn't just left my room he wouldn't have been close enough to pop in the OR. If I had bled a little bit more, I would have required a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding. The perfect timing of everything is nothing short of miraculous. God continued to shower His mercies on us after surgery. We, BooBoo and I, were both borderline needing a blood transfusions, but stayed healthy enough during the first 24 hours to not need it. I could have bled heavily following surgery, but I didn't. BooBoo had some difficulty breathing following birth and was under an oxygen-type thing, but was able to come off it later that night. I was Strep-B positive and we weren't given antibiotics before surgery, so BooBoo was at risk of having a serious infection. He didn't get sick. He tolerated his feedings well and took a bottle, but also learned to breastfeed in the hospital. He continued to jump every hurdle after birth and was healthy enough to be discharged with me from the hospital. there are countless mercies we received. BooBoo went home four days after birth, health. God's grace covers us.

We are enamored by God through our experience. We could be terrified of what could have happened that day, but instead we are thankful that God would choose to spare us and bless us so abundantly. He didn' t have to, but He did. We hold our blessings, our children, and our lives with open hands. We know that not only can He give, but He can take away. We have a respect for God's divine control and life-giving, and life-taking ability. We are always at His mercy. We are here for His glory and His purposes. We trust that God is all-knowing and eternally-minded in these instances, no matter what the outcome is for us directly. We know that BooBoo's birth could have ended differently, and we thank the Lord for our blessings and pray that BooBoo's birth story brings God the ultimate glory. We pray that BooBoo's life brings God glory. BooBoo's real name means "Praise be to God." BooBoo's life is already bringing God praise!

I never have a shortage of pictures, so here it goes:

Holding him for the first time. He just melted against me as soon as he laid his head on my chest. (The blue lights are from the bili-lights on another crib)

Love



Comfort touches.

Eating for the first time. I was able to pump enough milk to feed him bottles. It wasn't until a few days after his birth that they let me breast feed him so they could count how many ounces he was tolerating.

I look beat in this pic. I just wanted to be with him, but I kept falling asleep in the NICU and they didn't have comfortable chairs.